The Marriage Institution is one of a kind!
This platform has recorded great testimonies, as well as unimaginable damage to lives. Truth be told, everything God made is good (Gen.1:31). However, there seem to be the other side of things as long as this present life is concerned; good things can be abused.
Marriage is good and honourable, yet it could be disastrous and terrible beyond human comprehension where ignorance is evident. (Heb.13:4)
If you are yet to be married, please understand that the moment you go to the altar with the man you have chosen to marry; you have in the same vein decided how easy or hard the rest of your life would be.
If God did not force salvation on you, he is not likely to force a spouse on you; no one can choose/force one on you either. This places a huge responsibility on you to be careful and wise in your choice of a spouse. It has to be your choice, as you will have to live with this person for the rest of your life, come what may.
Proverbs 18:22; (MSG) says “Find a good spouse, you find a good life— and even more: the favor of God!” (Emphasis mine: the word FIND tells us clearly that the choice of a spouse is your responsibility).
No one is to make the decision of WHO to marry for you; it is simply yours to make; the best any one (friend/family) can do is to guide/advise and pray for you in this regard.
In this piece, I would like to point out 5-point guide on choosing right.
Of course, our context is within the Christian setting, as we are not permitted to marry outside the Kingdom.
He is that charming guy that seem to love you more than he loves God. A man who loves you more than he loves God has idolized you to a good extent. By extension, he will put you in a place in his life that no human is permitted to occupy at any time. Only God should be number 1 in any proper life. Loving you more than loving God will also inform certain expectations on his part that you may not be able to meet. You will be putting yourself on a risky plane with a choice like this one.
Chemistry vs Compatibility
Don’t marry a man simply because he makes you feel good. Marrying him also implies living with him for the rest of your life; do your values align? (Amos 3:3)
Numbers 36:6; MSG says “This is God’s command to Zelophehad’s daughters: They are free to marry anyone they choose as long as they marry within their ancestral clan.” Research shows that people express or display where thy come from. You cannot totally consider a man for marriage, in isolation from his root. From the above text, God is concerned about the family you marry into.
Prospect vs Pattern
He may very well have a great career ahead of him; he may seem to have his 10 years plan all together but, have you observed certain unfavourable trend or track record within the relationship? For instance, has he shown a pattern of being short tempered, lazy, or promiscuous? His good prospect will not make up for the worrisome pattern(s) girl; RUN!
Let’s make this simple, if your prince charming is not a man under authority, he is not safe for marriage. Do you realise that Jesus is under God’s authority; the man is to be under Christ’s while the wife is to be under that of her man? (1 Cor.11:3; KJV). Anyone who can’t or doesn’t submit to authority is as (potentially) dangerous as a time bomb; RUN!
My Final Word
The aforementioned points are not exactly exhaustive, but adhering to them will help you avoid making common and yet avoidable errors that has truncated destinies. The choice of a spouse is yours, but you can make a most informed choice by making good use of wise counsel from godly and trusted vessels, and by carrying God along (via prayer and the Word) in your quest to getting it right in Marriage. This will save you from a lifetime of misery.
Proverbs 11:14 (MSG) says “without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow, the better your chances.”
Proverbs 3:5-7; MSG says it best: “Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!”
God wants to see you choose right as well as he wants to see you do well in Marriage. However, this is only possible when you cooperate and collaborate with him. He is ever willing to lead as we open our hearts and will to his’.