Taking a cue from where we left off in the previous edition, I remember mentioning that “there is no way marriage would ever survive if LOVE and RESPECT were conditional; one does not precedethe other – thisis God’s view!” It is worth adding that, there is nothing God has instructed or asked us to do, that we can ever do, outside of Him. No one is naturally capable of living a life pleasing to God except by His grace, of course; and the required grace is contacted through personal knowledge of God.
Grace and peace be multiplied to you through the knowledge of God, and of Jesus our Lord, according as His divine power has given to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him that has called us to glory and virtue (2 Peter 1: 2, 3 NKJV).
Woman, you are not capable of taking your place as the required helper to your husband on your own! Many have made decisions to be good wives and failed within the same week!
The secret to unconditional love, submission and every other virtue that God expects from us is in our walk with HIM and not in the incentives or encouragement we expect from our spouses. Those who wait to be shown love before they reciprocate in submission will struggle with unfaithfulness at various levels. Besides, this idea gives marriage a business outlook; this is not God’s idea.
A working relationship with God is the only way to being like God. Any time you struggle with love, faith, submission, etc., it is a sign that your walk with Him needs some help. Run to God, repair your faulty or broken altar, rub minds with God, invest time in the Word, and speak in unknown tongues, the reward is remarkable! We often look in the wrong direction for help and support; you are your husband’s helper, who should walk in close proximity with the Holy Spirit so as to be an effective vessel.
A helper, who is frustrated in the course of fulfilling her ministry of help, clearly needs a superior help in God; the God who has called her in the first instance!
The mere fact that man requires YOUR HELP, as ordained by God, shows that he is not always the Superman he claims or assumes to be most of the time; he needs YOU and you shouldn’t wait till he acknowledges that truth. Many men may not acknowledge their need for the support of their wives in a long while; yet, it doesn’t overrule the fact that they require it. Take the initiative without attacking your man’s ego (as the Holy Spirit leads and empowers you), and see him admire, respect and value you more.
Woman, you are many things put together.
Your place is incontestable, your significance is unquestionable; whoever questions your worth has God Himself to answer to.
You were taken out of MAN because you were meant to be FIT for him.
You were called a HELPER by God because that is your divine CALL: to help him be ALL God has put in him to be. Do you realize that you are called the same thing the Holy Spirit is to us – HELPER! This requires that you learn to walk with the Holy Spirit to effectively fulfill your role and not abuse it, or usurp the God-given authority of the man.
You are equal to him hence, be equal to the task! If you don’t match the task that necessitated your being, you have failed as a woman!
You are a HELPER not a threat, a helper not a competition, a helper not a hindrance, a helper not an enemy, a helper not his boss, a helper not his head, a helper not his source; be faithful to your core assignment which is to be a FITTING HELP for him.
Are you doing anything that does not promote the fulfillment of his purpose? You might need to repent before the God who made you for him and gave you to him.
Marriage was designed to multiply results and make an impact; if one chases a thousand, two is to put a minimum of ten thousand to flight! A ‘good two’ is better than one; you being a part of his life should translate into a better him. Why should he have probably been better off without you in the picture? Please THINK!
Yes, it’s true that he could sometimes be difficult but then, that will be your chance to prove your love, loyalty and stand for peace rather than fight back by making a case or a point. You willalways have achoice: to make your point or tomake peace! Sometimes, you must choose to stoop to conquer and not fight to ‘win’ at the detriment of everything a marriage should be.
Being a wife is CONSISTENTWORK not a status as it were; it is a function and a ministry! You are to be an extension of the Holy Spirit in your husband’s life: to remind him of his dreams, vision and goals; to make him run and achieve; to encourage and comfort him when he is down; to defend him and not to defeat him. If you are not purposefully helping him, you are working against him and against God’s WILL.
Nursing a vision or idea that is divergent to his is a basis for division (or divorce), which God clearly hates (Malachi 2:16).
You are far better off not getting married than getting married and promoting a vision/course that is againstGod’sdesign and purpose. Your marriage must PROMOTE God’s agenda, not repel it.
Your ministry of HELP should be a ministry of HOPE to your spouse, not to be left entirely to the mercy of his laxities; your role is YOUR ROLE. Please be STRONG; that way, you will be fulfilling your ministry. Your spouse may not be the best of men but you have been positioned by God to play your part while you inspire and provoke the best in him; that is your role and your duty to God.
Your man should have less excuse because he has God and he has YOU! Be his reason, not his excuse.
Consider the wisdom in a short analysis I learnt from a wise man:
It takes a king marrying a lady to make her a queen; but a man does not automatically become a king by marrying a queen. If you desire to be a queen, take your place by your husband’s side; support him the best wayyou can, help himand seewhat becomesof you.
Your unwavering support for your husband, to HELP him achieve the best of God for him will make a queen out of you!