I wonder what thoughts are racing through your mind at the sight of this title. Yes, this might be a little controversial, yet it is a significant aspect of marriage that can only be properly addressed through “God’s eyes”.
Do you really believe that the man is the head because he is more powerful or because there was a contest or a vote to that effect? It is unarguable that the man is physically and structurally stronger than the woman; but how far can his physical strength take him in the journey of life? Real strength is beyond the physical, and this is where we need to recognize and appreciate the place of significance that the woman is privileged to occupy by the will of God Himself. This is incontestable!
Woman, you need to understand that you are so powerful that you can be destructive to your union unless you willingly submit to your named head – “your husband”.
Recall that no one could have dared to kill Jesus Christ if He had not willingly submitted Himself to the death of the cross. He testified that He had the power to lay down or take back His own life. He said, in John 10:17, 18 (NLT):
The Father loves me because I lay down my life that I may have it back again. No one can take my life from me. I lay down my life voluntarily. For I have the right to lay it down when I want to and also the power to take it again. For my Father has given me this command.
Woman, you win the heart of God and that of your spouse when you willingly lay down your pride and “sword” for the sake of progress, in line with the will of God. Christ is our perfect example and cannot be questioned by anyone.
Philippians2:5-9 (KJV) says:
Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God: But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men: …, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name.
Woman, you are an asset to God in your home, business and marriage, only to the extent to which you willingly submit to your spouse through consistentsubmission to Christ as demonstrated by Christ Himself in the above scripture. Your power as a woman makes you a “dangerousweapon” against your spouse and God’s agenda for your marriage, outside the altar of submission. You are a time bomb waiting to explode outside the walls of willing regard and submission, first to Christ, then to your man. You are so powerful that you can hinder the prayers of your husband and retard his progress. Did you know that? (See 1Peter 3:7).
Everything God gave you is good, yet you need to appropriate the use of those privileges to promote God’s agenda/will in every area of your life and not otherwise. Jesus Christ was equal to God; He had His own will and He could have chosen not to obey the call of the cross. God didn’t force Him to obey; yet obedience in itself doesn’t really imply submission. Christ’s obedience was willing; He made a choice to obey, and committed Himself to the process and in the end, He was honoured. The moment you agreed to get married to your husband, you also agreed to respect and honour him as the head; it is a total package. You are equal to him, and you both are joint heirs with Christ (1 Peter 3:7; Romans 8:17). However, he is your head, and this requires your acceptance and cooperation.
May I add this most important truth that even countless men may not know – once your obedience or cooperation is void of willingness but “plagued” with duress or coercion, (true) submission has been compromised and therefore, non-existent.
The word “SUBMISSION” is a combination of two words, “SUB” and “MISSION”. “Sub” means “under”; “Mission” means a “task”, an “assignment” or a “duty”. God says that it is necessary for you to “putyourself under” for the sake of theultimate task, duty, assignment, mission He has for your marriage, which otherwise cannot be established and fulfilled.
So, dear woman, it will be easier to submit from the viewpoint of the higher call or purpose of God for your marriage, and not through the result of your critical or judgmental analysis of whether or not your husband has earned your respect.
I am not, by any means, in support of men bossing their wives around, or not carrying them along on crucial matters, but two wrongs never make a right, neither is the concept of “a tooth for an eye” consistent with God’s will and line of thought.
If your husband has to enforce it, it is no longer submission. If you fake it, it is no longer true submission; if he has to earn it, you may never get to really submit. Here is the deal, deepen your walk with God, submit to the lordship of Christ and you will see things differently.
There is no way marriage would ever survive if LOVE and RESPECT were conditional; one does not precede the other – this is God’s view!