I will be using this platform to document my journey to finding me. Before I start writing and plaguing you with weekly
articles, I’ve been told I have to talk about me a bit.
Why exactly do I even have to talk about me sef? Do I really have to? Aaarrggghhh….
Do you know the feeling you get when you simply don’t want to look into the mirror because you believe you won’t like what you see? (I know some of you have never felt this way, and I am envious of, and so happy for, you, and serving you major side eye!) Anyway, for those of you who can relate to what I’m saying, this is how I’ve felt for the past six years.
To help lift the veil off the mirror very slowly, I will start with who I was before my “mirror phobia”, who I feel I am at the moment, and who I would love to be.
I used to be a keen God lover and an earnest God chaser. You know those Christian sisters in Uni who could pray for hours, quietly listening for God’s voice while staring up at the stars? Yep, I was one of those! I was deeply
in love with my heavenly Father. Apart from being a God lover, I was a business owner, head of a student organization, worshipper, part of my church’s youth leadership, brilliant student, and I think I was quite beautiful too! I had dreams of becoming a business owner, philanthropist, devoted mom, and a wife whom her husband respected and completely adored.
Now, let me tell you who I feel I am at the moment. Without lifting the veil off the mirror more than an inch, I feel I have let my heavenly Father down in every way possible. I see myself as a fat, mostly unhappy,
stay-at-home mom, who has lived in three countries and five states in the past
seven years. (Trust me, I have now become an expert at not being too
comfortable in one location because I will end up packing up again, and moving
As for whom I would like to be, let’s just say I want to be
that girl that makes her heavenly Father very proud.
So, people, till I find me, just call me Mrs X!